– Claudia Cantrell
I have a few questions I want you to answer honestly:
Are you always trying to do things on your own and do them your own way?
Do you try to find your worth and your identity in relationships, achievements, and your appearance?
Are you struggling with emotional wounds that are not healed?
For decades, I struggled with rejection, singleness, and loneliness. As I share in my book, Sacred Love, my emotional wounding was due to real and, maybe at times, perceived rejection due to my appearance.
I was the “fat, ugly kid” whose mother was gorgeous and often modeled for one of the finest women’s stores in our hometown. Because I believed that I was unattractive physically and not worth loving, I sought to find my identity and worth in my achievements and intelligence. (Image via Pixabay)
When I did not measure up in these areas either, I became depressed and anxious. I isolated myself and built a wall of protection so high that I could not see God.
At that time, I did not trust Jesus to fill all the voids in my life, even though I had accepted Him as my Savior at the age of nine. I had been rejected too many times and often asked Him why He had created me.
I felt like I had to prove my worth to God and others, but every time I tried, there was failure. I was left unfulfilled and empty. Since I was trying to do it “my way” and was not giving God full control, I made mistakes out of disobedience.
Finally, at my wits’ end, I surrendered my life and my rights to myself to Jesus.
It had been exhausting trying to find my worth when, in truth, I had been given all my worth in Christ when I accepted Him.
God’s Word is truth and Jesus loves me with an everlasting love just like He loves you. Our enemy, Satan, lies to us continuously and, since I had chosen to believe his lies from early childhood, I had lived out most of my life filtering my experiences through a lens of rejection.
I have had numerous verses that have encouraged me during my life. But the one that I quoted over and over while I was healing was Psalms 37:4-5: “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in Him and He will do it.”
I learned how important it was to spend time with the Lord and get to know Him intimately so that I could hear Him when He spoke to me in His quiet voice. In turn, I learned to love Him and trust Him to guide my paths and protect me.
I learned to commit all my concerns to Him and to give Him my desires.
He changed my heart and my desires became His desires for my life.
It doesn’t get any better than that!
This post was written by author and speaker Claudia Cantrell.
Claudia is the author of Sacred Love.