• by Suzanne Roberts

Ah! Truly a NEW beginning!

One year ago, I was at death’s door in the hospital with Covid. I like to say I could smell St. Peter’s aftershave! But God touched EVERY moment of that time and the months that followed. He restored my first Love. He showed me that His peace was beyond anything I could understand. His promises lit up my life every single day. Now, a year later, I realize more and more how truly amazing He was. I received a drug that had a 50% death rate, and yet, here I am. I couldn’t have any family or friends visit me. I was very alone. And yet, I remember in the ER, His peace descended and never left.

During the first night, I realized that the date was January 29^th. It was the 27^th anniversary of my husband’s death. I remember that, as weak as I was, I said, “Oh no Satan! You will not take me out of the world on this date! My children will NOT have to bear that!” Obviously, his plan didn’t work!

When I got home, the Lord told me that this was a rescue operation. He told me to PUSH my way through, and that “QUITTING WAS NOT AN OPTION!” It was a HARD time of recovery. I remember asking my daughter Stefanie, soon after I got home, if I was going to die, as I lay in my bed and oxygen tubes filled the floor. In the beginning it was all confusing, and there were indeed moments of fear, but Holy Spirit was quick to cast them out. I spent every day listening to Him, regrouping, and being loved. I was on oxygen for about six weeks. I did the exercises they told me to do faithfully. Stef put that huge oxygen tank on my walker so I could go into the kitchen and walk. What a sight! Me in my pj’s pushing my oxygen tank back and forth to the kitchen.

Stef was so wonderful. I would not have made it without her loving care. She was on alert every moment of every day. She put a baby monitor in my room so she could hear my slightest call or cough. Within seconds she was there, comforting, trying to get me to eat, and encouraging me to keep going. I knew this had shaken her, and I knew I had to fight to get well for her as well.

I don’t think anyone knew at that point how long it takes to heal completely from Covid. Even if you test negative, the results are still there in your body. Your body, soul, and spirit have been severely traumatized. The enormous fatigue, the brain fog, not wanting to eat. They all take a long time to subside. It was probably several months before I felt sort of like my old self.

Each morning I would look at the sign I had made and posted on the entertainment center at the foot of my bed which says: QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION!                 

I was reminded every day that my restoration was a possibility, even though I knew I had to fight for it. I had the promises that God had given me to enable me to walk through each and every season of my life, and I soaked in all the wonderful things that I knew about God’s goodness. I refused to doubt Him. Every time the Enemy would try to convince me otherwise, I would stomp around the house with my oxygen tank and tell him that I knew that my God was with me and for me and He was lovingly restoring me to wholeness.

And I guess I’m living proof of that.

Today, one year later, I am just profoundly thankful for the experience that helped me to remember that, no matter what, my God is always filled to the brim with faithfulness and He is always “over the top” GOOD, and that because He is Love and He loves me, He will always rescue me and “set me above all my troubles.” I was surprised to discover that this relationship with Him is so much more of a partnership than I had ever realized. He promises, and He provides whatever I need, and I get to believe Him, and fight for His goodness to be evident in my life.

That sign is still at the end of my bed. I remind myself every day that, no matter what, God will never quit, and I don’t have that option either. We’re partners in this. That season opened a whole new door of opportunity to know Him in a deeper way than ever before. Every day is filled with hope in His faithful goodness because of it. Every challenge is challenged. No more sitting on the sidelines expecting Him to do it all. There is a door of hope flung wide open in whatever wilderness I seem to be in at the moment. He always helps me to find it.

I am so thankful to know in every fiber of my being that God is GOOD and He loves me with all of His heart, and He will always show Himself strong on behalf of His children.

He tells us to “Pursue. Overtake. And Recover All!”

Fight. For. That!

QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION!

This blog post was written by Suzanne Roberts.

Suzanne is the author of It’s Time to Power UP!