– by Dawn Mitchell
Have you ever encountered a supervisor, manager or co-worker whose sole strategy for professional advancement was to claw his/her way to the top by ANY means necessary? Their maniacal rise to domination is fueled by their poisonous daily dose of lying, cheating, manipulation, and deception. What happens when YOU are a casualty of one of these workplace tyrants? How do you move forward spiritually, especially when it results in a professional setback that affects your future, family, and career?
If you missed part one of “Treacherous, Toxic & Two-Faced: Protecting Your Spirit from Workplace Sabotage,” click here to read it.
Keep reading to enjoy part two!
Part 2 (Continued)
After about a month of praying for my attitude about Kris, I received a chilling revelation. As I knelt at the edge of my couch in my usual morning prayer, with closed eyes and bowed head, I saw a vision of a five-year old Kris, suffering mercilessly at the hands of a drill sergeant-like father. It was as if I could see through her eyes as she looked up at his tall, thin, willowy frame into his beady black eyes. He abused her in ways that would make the most ill-treated and neglected pet shudder.
As if that wasn’t enough, there was a second scene to this vision. I also saw a “flash” of Kris at age seven, being abused and bullied by groups of kids at her school who took turns beating her senseless on a regular basis. She was literally tossed around like a tattered rag doll, both at school and at home. She was not valued, loved, or cared for in her most vulnerable and impressionable years. (Image via Pixabay)
Witnessing Kris’ personal history during my prayer time made my heart break for her as a little girl. In the breaking of my heart, a light was able to enter my mind and begin my own healing process. I had received a shift in my perception…a miracle.
That same morning when I walked into work, Kris passed me in the hallway. Since the scandal, I tried to avoid her at all costs, but not today. I was even able to mutter hello, albeit weak, when she spoke to me. Why? Somehow, knowing that the abuse she suffered as a child stirred up an ever so tiny kernel of compassion within me. That morning, when I looked at her, all I could see was the little girl that was abused and bullied, who had now grown up to be an abusive bully herself. Although I would never condone Kris’ behavior under any circumstance, knowing that her wickedness was an uber protective defense mechanism, helped me to at least understand the WHY of her behavior. This was an important shift for me; one I would never forget that would serve me for years to come. I continued daily to pray for my attitude towards Kris, and in addition, for the healing of the little girl that lived inside her.
A few weeks later, I walked into work and received the news. Kris’ antics finally caught up with her. She was let go…fired! I think everyone at work that day wanted to go out to the parking lot and celebrate by doing the Electric Slide as a “team bonding” exercise! There were high fives and laughter in all the corridors. Hooraaaaay!! She’s gone!!! However, through all the celebratory activities, my heart still broke for the little girl. You see, by the time Kris left, I had prayed so much for MY ATTITUDE towards her that the toxic emotions associated with how I perceived her devious behavior had melted away. Don’t misunderstand, her antics were still as wrong as two left shoes, but the consequences of her antics were being corrected on a supernatural level that didn’t personally make me sick. I had somehow released her.
Over time, the thought of her didn’t infuriate me anymore. The sight of her didn’t make me angry (or want to vomit) anymore. And I stopped having nightmares about her. I had taken my power and energy back from Kris. Prior to praying about her, I had freely let her have my power, and she didn’t even know it! The prayer didn’t change her; it changed ME, and my response to her, which drastically improved my life in a very short time. I had forgiven her and God corrected the consequences.
You see, forgiveness didn’t mean that I had to hang out with her and be her BFF, that I agreed with her treacherous antics, or that I needed to become a weakling or doormat taking all that she dished out. Forgiveness simply means that I released the debilitating energy I held for her, and that I surrendered the consequences of the situation to God. I didn’t need to be nasty, mean, rude, or bitter anymore because those behaviors, and the effects thereof, only hurt me in the long run.
This is the power that forgiveness provides. This is exercising real strength. When the toxicity of the grievance is dissolved, the ability to step back and see the situation objectively is revealed.
Without the negative “charge” and influence of the toxic emotion, you can stand back and really ponder, “What are the consequences related to this situation? Is this person worth working through the damage with (i.e. rebuilding trust)? Do I want this person/relationship/situation in my life? If so, at what level? Can this person help me to reach my destiny? Can I help this person reach theirs? What is the energy investment required of me? Is the cost something I can and want to manage? What is the energy RETURN? Is the ROE worth the investment?” I GET TO CHOOSE.
Undergoing the forgiveness work puts you in a position of strength instead of staying stuck in the role of victim. Upon completion, you can make decisions from this powerful vantage point to consciously choose what is best for YOU, instead of making it about retaliation against the other person.
With this in mind you shift your perception of the situation, or the situation corrects itself. Either way, you’re free. In my case, both happened. Through God, true power is in your hands with forgiveness.
This post was written by author and speaker Dawn D. Mitchell.